How about that awkward moment when you get done speaking at the 4:30 Saturday night mass and you're perspiring more than you did when you went for a run only an hour and a half before? It certainly didn't help that the Church was hotter than blazes. I really wouldn't have minded the perspiration so much until a few concerned parishioners approached me and pointed out how much I was sweating and that they felt bad for me. I just had to explain that I get nervous and sometimes I sweat. Like, a lot. The worst part of it really was that I couldn't wipe it off because then I would've felt really guilty shaking people's hands. Luckily, I remembered another missionary's post on a FOCUS humor page we missionaries have on 'ze Facebük which went like this:
"Heat index of 104 degrees and the power is out in the adoration chapel...Jesus is Lord!"
When giving a parish talk, I am always the most nervous when Fr. Jared tells the faithfuls to "have a seat for a moment." At that moment a million things run through my mind all at once: Everyone is upset they have to stay longer. They are really hot and annoyed. They don't want to hear someone else ask them for money. They don't think what I'm doing is important. They won't even listen to me. I'm going to trip on the way up there, and if not, on the way back down for sure. And on and on the lies continue. Luckily as soon as I get up there and look out at the faces there are always at least a few smiling back at me, and that makes me feel good, a little important even. I can't imagine how Fr. feels going up there day after day, week after week.
But anyway, my point is that I become easily distracted by the smallest of details, and start buying into lies quicker than I can blink twice. The phrase "Jesus is Lord!" really comes in in the clutch. Just as the congregation sits down before each Mass I remind myself, Jesus is Lord...Jesus is Lord...Jesus is LORD! When remembering that simple fact, my own nerves and fears suddenly don't weigh as much as they did the moment before. I am speaking at church not to glorify myself or my own work, but to glorify what the Lord has done, and continues doing and that I just get to have a simple share in that.
Oh, how I hope that came across well. For those of you who were there, thank you for the kind ears and your prayers and support! They mean so much to me.